A Good Reminder

It’s dark because you are trying too hard. Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly. Yes, feel lightly even though you’re feeling deeply. Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them. I was so preposterously serious in those days, such a humorless little prig. Lightly, lightly – it’s the best advice ever given me. When it comes to dying even. Nothing ponderous, or portentous, or emphatic. No rhetoric, no tremolos, no self conscious persona putting on its celebrated imitation of Christ or Little Nell. And of course, no theology, no metaphysics. Just the fact of dying and the fact of the clear light. So throw away your baggage and go forward. There are quicksands all about you, sucking at your feet, trying to suck you down into fear and self-pity and despair. That’s why you must walk so lightly. Lightly my darling, on tiptoes and no luggage, not even a sponge bag, completely unencumbered.
-Aldous Huxley, Island (Thank you, heartmindspirit & atelier)

A Letter of Intent

26 October 2018

Ya know what? Maybe I’ll just start journaling here.

That’s what a blog is supposed to be anyway, right? A place where a twenty somethin’ can come to spill her guts out to the whole wide world in an insomniac induced stupor?

Great! I thought so.

Okay, okay. So maybeeee not everyyyyoneeee puts their actual journal up on the world wide web, but I figure that’s why I probably should.

Okeeeyy well it’s 3:50am rn so I should also probablyyyy get some sleep before we delve into the good stuff.

I guess consider this my letter of intent? I’m hoping it’ll hold me accountable.

Love,
A, perhaps, more consistent version of myself than yesterday

Parentheses

You're born and in a snap you're paying rent and buying toilet paper and all of your utensils belong to you

Your heart is covered in tape and hot glue and pushpins and strings

And you are no longer a child

And all the words you have ever spoken exist in between two parentheses on your face

You're born and all of these things really do happen in a snap

But five minutes can feel like a lifetime when you're waiting for the final beep on the microwave 

Maybe we aren't always meant to purge the weight of the people who have sunk their feet into the soft places of our heart.  

I am heavy with the weight of one thing sure

Next time the earth makes its orbit around the sun

I want to be standing next to you