words

A Letter of Intent

26 October 2018

Ya know what? Maybe I’ll just start journaling here.

That’s what a blog is supposed to be anyway, right? A place where a twenty somethin’ can come to spill her guts out to the whole wide world in an insomniac induced stupor?

Great! I thought so.

Okay, okay. So maybeeee not everyyyyoneeee puts their actual journal up on the world wide web, but I figure that’s why I probably should.

Okeeeyy well it’s 3:50am rn so I should also probablyyyy get some sleep before we delve into the good stuff.

I guess consider this my letter of intent? I’m hoping it’ll hold me accountable.

Love,
A, perhaps, more consistent version of myself than yesterday

Parentheses

You're born and in a snap you're paying rent and buying toilet paper and all of your utensils belong to you

Your heart is covered in tape and hot glue and pushpins and strings

And you are no longer a child

And all the words you have ever spoken exist in between two parentheses on your face

You're born and all of these things really do happen in a snap

But five minutes can feel like a lifetime when you're waiting for the final beep on the microwave 

Maybe we aren't always meant to purge the weight of the people who have sunk their feet into the soft places of our heart.  

I am heavy with the weight of one thing sure

Next time the earth makes its orbit around the sun

I want to be standing next to you

on love and cigarettes

Sitting on sidewalks underneath golden glowy streetlights

Smoking cigarettes and telling secrets to the night sky

Every piece of you, stitched so tightly together, comes undon

e

In between us, illusions of intimacy

The weight of your soul pressed up against mine, making love in midair

You keep apologizing, but I ask you to stop

I want to tell you that I'm not afraid of everything that you are

unravel

     unravel

          unravel

                unravel

Maybe someday we will move in freedom

Lips and all

I really hope that whoever I end up with loves books so that he will understand my references to literature and we can lay in bed together and read and have a huge library created from the combination of two individual lifetimes