Growin Up

Lately, I've been talking to a lot of my friends about alllll the adult things I've been doing. I'm new to buying groceries for myself. Paying rent is lyyyyyke omg, I remember a few months ago when all that money went towards clothes. And buying toilet paper before I run out, well, that's probably the most adult thing of all. 

Even though I've been running around in circles, working 40 hours a week, and actually sustaining myself in a myriad of adult ways, I still don't feel like an adult. I'm not mad about it, it's just strange. I always thought I'd get to this point in my life and feel like the adult version of myself. I have the keys to my very own place for crying out loud! 

Here's the thing, I can't feel myself all of the sudden magically transitioning into an adult version of who I am, but I can feel myself becoming. I can feel myself growing up into the person I'm supposed to be.

Within the next ten years I could be married and have kids and a house and a dog. 

I've spent my whole life waiting for certain special milestones, thinking that once I reach them I'll be done. And that makes sense... to an extent. But then I realize that the work in me will never fully be done. I am still growing. And yes, obviously it would be easier to just identify myself as an adult and call it a day. But I am unable to do that, because growing pains are real and hard and they hurt like hell. They are a constant reminder of the unfinished work in me - the un-adult living inside of my framework. 

I've been asking a lot of friends who are in the same boat and they all agree that it's hard to identify themselves with adulthood. So, I've decided we should probably ditch the world adult, and replace it with the word growin up. Not grown up. Growin up. Because let's face it, we're all works in progress.