Twenty

The day I turned 20 felt very strange in ways that I never expected it would.

I watched the clock by myself in complete silence for my last ten minutes as an official teenager. The nostalgia was real. It was such a bittersweet feeling.

My last ten minutes as a teenager. 

How did I get here?! 

What really tripped me out was thinking that ten years ago, at that exact moment, I was just about to turn 10. Double digits were such a big deal to me. I remember feeling so old on my tenth birthday. I could finally use all ten of my fingers to show people my age... I was an official member of The Cool Club. 

Back when I was ten, I never could have dreamed or even imagined all of the crazy life experiences that were going to take place in the ten years of life that were preceding me. I don't know about you, but I often go through life just trying my best to get through each day as it comes. I rarely stop to think about the way each day is weaving itself into the next. So, on my 20th birthday I made a conscious effort to think about progress and the importance of time as a whole- past, present, and future...

I'll admit that when I actively started thinking back on the past ten years of my life I developed a sense of pride. Mainly, because I realized that I really did make it... I made it through puberty, and middle school drama, and high school heartbreaks, and drivers license tests, and fights with my mom, and moments of sadness and stress so great I literally did not think I would make it out alive... but, I did. I made it. And in one piece, nonetheless.

So, now I'm looking out on my 20's in a way that I never looked out on my 10's or my teens. I have made a decision that my 20's are going to be dedicated to celebrating life. And not just life as a vague and abstract term meaning "I am alive", but my life as a detailed and specific thing meaning, "I am not only alive, I am living."

I want to celebrate wholeheartedly the details within my everyday experience here on earth, and the progression of these individual moments over time, and the way that God is consistent and constant, and always, always, always weaving these moments together into a whole.

It's all a bit intimidating, I admit. But it is also wonderful, and exciting, and unknown to me thus far.

Our 20's are meant to be a new adventure entirely. So here I am, jumping into the fullness that this decade has to offer with a heart full of dreams and a head full of aspirations. Eager to experience it all...

Xo,

Hannah