Today, I ordered my new camera.
You guuuys. I have been wanting to do this forever, and today I finally bit the bullet and jumped all the way in.
I am simultaneously overjoyed and fuhhhreaking out.
Here's the thing: I love photography more than anything. Holding a camera in my hands makes me feel powerful. Editing photos and making a moment in time look the exact way that I envision in my head is the most wonderful. And getting to hand the photos that I have taken over to the people who entrusted me to take them is the most out of body experience... I'm seriously getting warm and fuzzy just thinking about it.
BUT. And this is a huge but. I don't trust the process of opening my own business, and having it all work out. I am shaken to my core when I think about the fact that I just spent waaaaay more money than I actually have on a new camera in hopes that this will all work out.
Is this what I want to do? Without a doubt.
Do I feel competent and able to provide my clients with work that will exceed their wildest expectations? One-hundred and fifty million percent, yes.
So why am I scared? Why can't I just trust that this is what I am meant to do, and let things unfold the way they will?
Honestly, this whole entire thing comes with an equal level of excitement and fear. I know that I am capable, but at the same time I am hyper aware of the fact that I am a small fish in a big pond. This process is teaching me to hard-core, next-level trust the process. Things will unfold the way that they are meant to be.
I haven't blogged in awhile, and I'm sorry that this post isn't filled with humorous anecdotes about my wardrobe, but I promised I would share in the "goings-on" of my everyday, so I figured this was as good a post as any.
X's + O's,