I feel like a noodle. I swear if you threw me against a wall, I'd stick.
When I put in my two weeks at Anthro I told someone that it was the end of an era, and he was like, really? An entire era???
I was like, okaaaay Mr. Literal, I am welllll aware that an era is typically measured in looooong stretches of time much greater than me, but I like the way it sounds, so back off (!!!)
Seeee, I'm in between things (like jobs and school) so I feel everything a bit more than usual. Probably because I have too much time to think. And what I'm thinking about most of the time is life being all squiggly and my brain sloshing around in my noggin from lack of important information intake and how I haven't done much of anything lately that future Hannah will thank me for which makes me feel even more wonky and wiggly and disembodied. (Oh, btw noodles sometimes think in run on sentences. Srrrrryy).
Smack dab on top of allllll these changes and in betweens and empty spaces there's the fact that in just two days from now it will be a new year.
Everyone is already beginning to romanticizing 2017, and weeeellll,
I'd rather not because talking about the new year induces a sense of nausea in me that is hard to quell.
I. May. Vomit. *moms spaghetti
I'm ready to let go of 2016. It was a hell of a year if I've ever known one. A fresh start will be nice, but I feel like I still haven't even processed so many of the things I promised myself I would process before the end of this year. So how fresh of a start can a new year really be? It's just a four digit number on a calendar. I'll always be working on me.
I never expected to end 2016 feeling so wobbly, but I've come to peace with the process (as much as I possibly can be for an angsty 22 year old girl who is still figuring it all out).
So in regards to 2017, here it is:
I am going to take my damn self with me. Exactly as I am -
A noodle. Stuck to the wall, but hanging in there.