A few days ago I was exploring my Instagram feed and I came across a post by @foxmeetsbear that read "busy is not a badge of honor"
The thing about me is that I am always, always, alwaaaaays busy. Rarely do I ever have free time to sit and relax in the presence of nothing. Truth be told, I am uncomfortable with a lack of stimulation in my environment. I don't like to sit still for long periods of time. Being bored instead of busy makes me feel alone, depressed, and unsuccessful socially.
For so many years I have bought into the fact that a busy calendar equals a better me. So in order to maintain my busy bee mentality I pencil in the dates where I see empty slots on my agenda weeeeeeks ahead of time.
Being busy is not a crime. I heart being busy. However, I think that I may be missing out on a lot of the potential headspace for creativity or time that I could be taking a ten in my personal life, simply because blank spaces on my agenda make me feel uncomfortable.
I am such a minimalist in every area of my life. Less is always more. I actively practice this belief, but when it comes to my schedule, all bets are off. I desire life in abundance, and sometimes I get it twisted. I fail to see that Christ has given me life abundantly and it has nothing to do with how full I can get my schedule to be. In fact, I believe that God uses times of nothingness to minister to my heart and instill His purpose in me the most. But even knowing this, I continue to live life distracted and overloaded by activity after activity after activity. Silly me.
I don't think that my desire to be busy will change overnight. I believe it will take time for me to change my mindset. I know that I need to begin to carve time out of my days off not to be busy, and to remain in the silent moments even when it's uncomfortable and I'd rather be driving somewhere mindlessly or drinking coffee and chatting with a friend.