J U L Y
10 July 2012
I want someone to surprise me. Pick me up, and take me on a drive to the middle of nowhere. I want to look up at the stars, and listen to the best music, and just be for awhile.
16 July 2012
On a day like today you would be the first one I’d call. You would pick me up, get me my Starbucks, and drive me through my favorite spots in the canyon. We would just talk or listen to the best music and you would always help me to forget. I’d put my feet up on your dash and just be whatever I was. You made me feel pretty okay, even on the worst days.
I know I’ll find another you. A better one, even. I just hate when I’m up this late and I have no one to talk to. I’m adjusting, and I guess that’s life.
2 July 2013
I am the girl who wants to be better.
Seven pounds lighter- no, ten. Smaller boobs. Whiter smile. Skinnier legs. Wavier hair. A flatter stomach...
The list goes on.
I have spent my whole entire life trying to reach an unrealistic standard and it get’s tiring.
I always want something to fix. I think far too much. I go too far. I hurt the people I love. I distance myself…
I want to be better. I want to improve. I want to grow up, and grow out of old habits. I want to get to the gym waaay more, and start eating healthy all the time. I want to read my Bible more, and keep in contact with the hundreds of people in my contact book. But honestly, it’s tiring. And that’s all I have for tonight.
14 July 2013
I wish I could see my forever. But maybe there’s no such thing.
6 July 2014
You’re the best part of my everyday
21 July 2015
Tonight is one of those good nights.
It’s been eight weeks, and I am finally able to be alone and feel peaceful. My own company isn’t overbearing, and the quiet isn’t cumbersome. The thoughts in my head aren’t disturbances to the equilibrium I am trying to keep. I am sitting here in the company of no one but myself, and I am content and happy to be here. I feel stronger than I've felt in a long time. I know it’s a tiny victory, but it’s a victory nonetheless.
Time is healing the things that were broken. Tonight, I am grateful.
23 July 2017
You can want and want and want, but it's going to happen by accident. Put it into the world and then let go. Purge your heart of what is unnecessary; there's more room to grow in empty spaces.
What's meant for you will be meant for you when you wake up tomorrow, next week, a year from now...
Fill the void with light and love, and whatever it is will find you. How can it not when you're radiating sunbeams?