I've been feeling generally uninspired for the past month. It's an on and off thing, and that's the worst part. Some days, I wake up and I'm like YES let's do this. Others I'm like, "Wait, who am I again?" So yeah. That's been me for the past month, and I'm trying not to come to terms with it.
I don't want to live my life in the interim of inspiration. I'll choose experience over everything. All of my friends are graduating college and getting real people jobs, and I'm still figuring it out and living my weird existence as a creative human who would rather go moderatly hungry than sit behind a desk from 9-5. That's just me. I want to live my own life every single day- the most authentic version of it.
I am still figuring it out. I just got into Vanguard and they sent me the two(ish) year plan for me to graduate and it's actually amazing to see an end to the whole school thing. I can do this... somehow... And to be honest, even though I struggle to stay focused in school and would much rather be doing anything else, I still believe in its importance. A degree is a tiny piece of paper that holds a lot of weight. I know I'll turn my tassel eventually, and that's what makes my heart okay with not being in the same spot as the majority right now.
Sometimes, the best things are the things we already have, and we just need to learn to see that. I went back to my old blog format because the other one didn't feel like me. I think for a second I was trying to be something different. I was missing the point.
It's hard to be on Instagram so much of the time and to shape my life around it in some ways. I'm trying as hard as I possibly can to refrain from centering my world on myself, but everything about my Instagram puts me at the center. I don't know how to change that, or how to make it less of a thing. I am fasting from it this week, only posting to stay active and then putting it away. I want to make sure that I know I can live without it, and that it doesn't make me who I am.
I want to say thanks if you've made it this far. Thanks for following along and being kind and reading my words. It sits well with me and makes my heart warm to think that we're all a lot more connected than we think.