Moving

I can feel my see through skin peeling off as I move from one space to another.

Everyone in this world is pretending to be okay while allowing themselves to float into one another, but I have a harder time.

I feel so dark in this body. Like someone turned the lights off and I am dead weight floating to the bottom of a crystal blue sea.

It’s peaceful in this embryonic space, but when do I start kicking? When do I wake up in the morning at a normal hour with a normal routine and a job that makes sense?

I love living in my own world, but it’s hard to operate when the voice in my head is telling me a million mean lies. As if I’m not doing an okay job when I know that I am doing better than ever.

Learning to trust myself in a space where everyone can see is so scary. But I know I need to follow the fear. Let it be my guide.

A year from today everything will be different in all the right ways.