Nobody tells you how to handle the months succeeding a broken heart.
It was easier when it first happened. When it first happened I could be mad. I had enough anger inside me to numb the pain for awhile. It's been a few months, and I'm just getting past mad. I think about it a lot less, but I still hurt. The memories come, even when I don't will them to.
After a heartbreak you get smart. You know that you would never actively choose to be with that person again. However, knowledge in itself is never enough to suck the attachment out of your body.
The other day, I was talking to a woman who recently went through a brutal divorce. At the end of her story she looked at me and quickly said, "yeah, but I'm over it now." All I could think was, how unfair. How unfair that she feels like she has to justify her emotional state by claiming to be over her entire marriage of nine years.
But then I thought some more, and ya know what? It seems like most of us lean toward the same tendency. We assume that there is going to be a place in time where we are emotionally vacant and completely indifferent to all the hurt and pain. We wait to get to this place. We wait, and we wait, and we wait...
Welllll, I hate to burst any bubbles, but it's more likely than not that there's no such thing as 'over it'. Think about it... when was the last time you saw an ex (that you actually cared deeply about) and had no emotion associated with the encounter whatsoever??? Probably never.
Maybe, instead of getting over it, our job is simply to move forward, despite all of the ickiness.
Eventually, memories of what was need to be put on hold, and ideas of what could have been need to be put to rest. The day will come when you begin again. You will start making new memories in old places, and painting over the past.
The truth is, it hurts until it hurts less. Eventually, the pain will turn into strength, but the emotion will always exist in some form.
Ten years from now, when you run into him in the cereal aisle at the grocery store (looking hot as hell with a giant diamond ring on your finger and a few gorgeous children by your side) you will smile and remember what it felt like to grow up next to him for a little while.
In the meanwhile, work on the hard stuff, and getting to the other side of things. No more convincing yourself that you're over it before you know what the grass looks like on the other side of the hill.